Who Determines Who?
Being determined. There are two
ways of looking at it. Do you determine? Or have you been determined?
"We, Filipinos, are always
"Of course I'm hot-headed.
Do your forefathers control your
behaviour? Dr. Stephen Covey* calls this Genetic Determinism.
Perhaps, as a child, you were
raised by your parents never to argue or disobey. Today, anxiety and
fear overcome you; you can't speak up and raise a dissenting opinion.
Or maybe it's the opposite: as if it's "payback" time,
you challenge every view that differs from yours. Looks like
your parents are still doing it to you! This is called Psychic
How about your spouse, your
boss, the media, your government leaders, people around you? Do they
determine what you do, how you feel, how you respond? Do you react
based on their attitude, their behaviour, their statements, decisions,
and actions or lack thereof? That's Environmental
"I can't" and "I
have to". You may not notice it but the more that you are
being determined, the more you tend to say these.
Yes, it is important to
recognize our ancestry, our formative years with our parents, and our
day-to-day dealings with others around us. It is important to
understand and respect them. We draw many good things from them. They
help form our values and enrich our experiences. They are all a part
of us and it's good to appreciate their influence.
And that's what they are - an
influence. In the end, what we do and how we feel and how we respond
to these influences are choices that belong to each of us. We
are all responsible for ourselves. (Responsibility. Response ability - one's
ability to choose a response.)
IT IS IN OUR NATURE TO ACT AND
NOT BE ACTED UPON.
When the alarm clock wakes you
up tomorrow, stay in bed for a few minutes and think a bit. Determine
what you want to accomplish. Then make your choices. Determine
what you want to be, and become that. Act. Do not be acted upon.
Then have a great day!
- Ramon Regozo
write-up is based on the teachings of Dr. Stephen Covey, renowned
author of the best-seller, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.