Make Them Feel
is the degree by which a person feels worthy of approval. We feel good
when our self-esteem is high and feel bad when it is low.
Did you know that WHEN
YOU RAISE ANOTHER PERSON'S SELF-ESTEEM, YOU INVARIABLY RAISE YOUR OWN
by exactly the same degree? Conversely, those who destroy others'
self-esteem indirectly destroy their own.
How do you raise
others' self-esteem? Make them feel important - and avoid making them
feel unimportant - by your ACCEPTANCE, APPROVAL, and APPRECIATION.
ACCEPTANCE is showing
sincere respect. Smiling to greet someone is a great way to show
acceptance. When we accept other people's differences from us - in
belief, in physicality, in upbringing, in orientation, even in age
(like our teen-age kids) - it is an incredibly fulfilling experience.
APPROVAL is expressing
agreement with one's action or opinion. But, of course, sometimes you
may have a differing view. If you must dissent, TOTALLY AVOID
DESTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. Try this technique: express your view through
an imaginary person. ("How would you explain your stance if
someone points out to you that..." ). That is, look for ways to
make the person recognize the merits of another view without declaring
APPRECIATION is saying
thanks and praising one's deeds, talents, or accomplishments. Praise
is truly meaningful, particularly in business settings, when specified
for a trait, action, or decision. It's even better if you
clearly acknowledge the results. ("I like the picture you chose
for your office. It brightens up the room.")
Do you want a truly
superior relationship with your spouse, kids, friends, employees,
customers, suppliers, your boss, etc? MAKE THEM FEEL IMPORTANT and,
without a doubt, you will enrich your own life
- Ramon Regozo
* This article is
editorialized from the teachings of Brian Tracy in The Psychology of
Achievement programme. More at www.briantracy.com.